This is me. I am a grandmother. I am a witch (by my definition, no one else's). I am a vulnerable little child still dealing with a sense of shame gifted me by my parochial school teachers.

I am opinionated, yet very shy, quiet, and socially inept.

I want to say, "This is me. This is who I am."

For example, I consider myself a witch. Most people wouldn't. Not Wiccans, not Christians. But, I do. It's funny. Bruce understood when I told him that the way I dressed when I went to talk to the apartment manager that time was like a spell. Some would consider it just common sense and the logical thing to do to get what I wanted. But, Bruce understood that it was more. The reasoning behind it was slightly different. Now, the difference was in my own mind. But, the difference made it something positive and useful for me, instead of something that made me feel pressured and inadequate. It gave me the upper hand.

But, that's not all I am. I am many things.

Yet, somehow, if I don't speak out, I am nothing. It's like I learned during those long hours that I talked to Hazel, it's not so much that someone understands and agrees with you. It's that you said it out loud to another human being. It is required to speak who you are, to speak what's in your heart. Otherwise, you don't even know yourself who you are. I think that's what therapy is all about. It's not about someone solving your problems for you. It's not even about you solving your own problems. It's about speaking out and saying who you are and, therefore, discovering who you are. (Including all the bad stuff that you're ashamed of or afraid of - all of it.) Then you can truly know yourself, love yourself, and finally be yourself.

This is me, in all my glory, in my nakedness. But, I have learned that the more one exposes oneself, the less naked one becomes.

"Abandon all hope ye who enter here" - Yeah, right! But, it does make a point. The point is to give me a place for myself, a public place. It's all very personal stuff. My opinions, beliefs (or lack thereof), and my feelings (my very messy feelings). I do want it to be public. I do want to know that someone might see it from time to time. Yet, I must have an attitude about it to keep myself not so overly aware of an audience. This has to be for me and no one else or it won't serve it's purpose.

I dedicate it to myself - a gift to myself.

Dare to not be invisible!